Spoken Like A Child: Wisdoms from the Heart

I just began my summer vacation here and I have had some time to think about life, to meet with friends new and old, and to create memories from camera moments some which I can laugh at and others which make me long for a simpler time, like when I was a child. I want to talk a little about children, and why I believe that the world can be changed through the eyes of a child.

Aime Cesaire, writer, activist and Africanist, among other accolades once said, wisely,” “Out of the sky, the birds, the parrots, the bells, silk, cloth, and drums, out of Sundays dancing, children’s words and love words, out of love for the little fists of children, I will build a world, my world with round shoulders.” Aime Cesaire who passed on this year holds a dear place in my heart for expressing the dreams of Africans everywhere, who dared to hope for freedoms that many in other parts of the world only whispered in their sleep, when the colonial master was not listening. I see the mother of two generations nursing her child in the middle of the Emergency in 1952 knowing that this child would have a better future, because we would be certainly free.

But this post is about more than just Cesaire, and thinking further on that quote, I wandered back to my own relatively idyllic childhood, filled with space to dream and imagine and achieve, where there was Whitney Houston singing, ” I am every Woman” and happy birthday songs and singing games. My earliest memories are fairly recent to many friends, I was a child of the 1990s, and schooled before the traffic congestion in Nairobi grew to its current mammoth state. We could cross town to go to school and I remember being on the bus, I must have been eight or nine, and thinking, “What am I doing in school, I need to be out there, doing a real thing, taking a place in society.” But the bus lumbered on to school, and little did I know that the years would indeed take me far away into multiple societies.

A dream brought me farther into the world than I have ever dreamed to date, where I am three continents and sixteen hours plane ride away from Kenya, where I started to dream.”Out of love for the little fists of children…I will build a world, my world with round shoulders.”My radio alarm wakes me in the morning now, and I roll out of the house going to my workplace. I sometimes wake up with a track playing that inevitably have a line urging people to ‘raise your fists in the air…keep your head up” and as I pen this post, I see a sea of children from all over the world lost in childhood games clutching at their toys and running amok, building hope that the future will be this simple, where the games they play have a fair outcome, that is what I think when I see a world with round round shoulders. I see children with a shoulder to lean on always. A shoulder you can put your arms around and hug, where you can feel secure. Yes, I see all these things at the crack of dawn when the sun creeps in through the blinds and Corinne Bailey Rae sings ‘Like a Bird’ and croons ‘when everything else is au fait, without a doubt you’re on my side,”

Aside from what the morning makes me think of, I do believe that educating children is key to the making of the world with round shoulders. I sought nothing but a story on a school in the memory of a mother, in Sukuma Kenya’s blog, when a passerby’s comment led me to Gabriela Mistral’s quote “We are guilty of many errors and many faults but our worst crime is abandoning the children, neglecting the fountain of life. Many of the things we need can wait. The child cannot. Right now is the time his bones are being formed, his blood is being made, and his senses are being developed. To him we cannot answer ‘Tomorrow.’ His name is ‘Today.’”Did you know that the Chilean was the first Latin American to win the Nobel Prize in Literature? When we silence children or fail to discipline them, we steal their future.

I had an early start to the day talking to two African American friends, separately about the Philadelphia school system and the cycle of despair. Two scenarios came to mind. That of the children of many of the black families here, whose homes are serially broken; whose siblings may be from different fathers, who may or may not be part of their lives; whose chances of completing high school are slim. The other scenario was of their demoralized teachers, paid so little to impart a world of wisdom on children whose frustrations with a culturally insensitive educational system made them feel like outsiders before they even began. We also spoke of the reasons why many children of color from lower middle class and poor backgrounds stop school and enter the workforce, too young to develop a critical mind and too jaded to consider the possibilities of pursuing a college education.

The coffee in my hand seemed colder after these conversations, and the comfort of a warm breakfast doing little to soother the intense sensation of looking into a very deep problem with no bottom, whose waters were so murky you dared not let your mind imagine the possibilities. What of children in the developing world, who woke every day to gnawing hunger for food, who watched their parents eke out a bare-bones living, a stripped down version of living poor in the west, which they only knew from the second hand clothes they wore that came from there. The children’s world, such as in Africa where they were oblivious to the fact that their future was being decided in Japan, people in suits discussing how much Africa would have from the global cake of resources.

After all the talking, and breakfast, and thinking, I turned to another wise quote, this time from a letter my Pa sent me: “In a world of scarcity you continue enjoying abundance that is not threatened. You enjoy health that many in the world will only dream about. You have hope that knows no boundaries.” I am truly fortunate to have these dreams, these ‘dreams from my father’ to paraphrase the title of Obama’s book. Where there could have been much despair, I have been blessed, and I appreciate every ounce of love, every drop of sweat from the village that raised me and got me to where I am now.

So today, love your children, your nieces and nephews, your students, your future. Let them know they can dream, and push them to the best they can be. Bless them with love, do not withhold your correction. Teach them to be independent. Reclaim your own childhood years, you came from two parents and have half of yourself from each, but your destiny does not lie in your birthright, you are 100 percent you.

And because I love encouraging women, I leave you with the lyrics to India Arie’s ‘Beautiful Flower’ - paraphrased and emphasis mine.

This is a song for every girl who’s
Ever been through something she thought she couldn’t make it through
I sing these words because
I was that girl too
Wanting something better than this
But who do I turn to

Now we’re moving from the darkness into the light
This is the defining moment of our lives

‘Cause you’re beautiful like a flower
More valuable than a diamond
You are powerful like a fire
You can heal the world with your mind

There is nothing in the world that you cannot do
When you believe in you, who are beautiful
Yeah, you, who are brilliant
Yeah, you, who are powerful
Yeah, you, who are resilient

This is a song for every girl who
Feels like she is not special
‘Cause she don’t look like a supermodel Coke bottle
The next time the radio tells you to shake your moneymaker
Shake your head and tell them, tell them you’re a leader

Now we’re moving from the darkness into the light
This is the defining moment of our lives

(song continues on…go fetch more lyrics online)

Ageing, Alums and Attitudes

This weekend, all roads lead to the college campus for that one most revered of traditions, alumni weekend. My charges these last three days were the lovely ladies of the class of 1938 and 1948. For those whose math is challenged they graduated when they were 22, which makes them…crank that mental calculator…92 years and 82 years respectively. For shame so many of us young ones were struggling to keep up with them, not me, though, I used to hang with grandma when I was home so I was well covered. They are so at ease, I am learning the secret to a long life, do remember and be thankful for your blessings, and do not sweat the small stuff. The two oldest ladies live on their own still and they are so spry and happy with all the fussing we are doing over them.

I believe that the attitudes on ageing are so different here and at home. Here, in the US, nobody can imagine growing into a grey haired old lady, whereas at home, many of our mothers and grandmothers are the most regal when they are older. Of course widely accepted African culture assigns greater meaning to the older members of society and they get respect, are seen as sages, and are taken care of as major assets to the community. I want to be older in Kenya, where many an older person’s counsel is valued and cherished.

In these parts, an older person is maltreated and ill cherished. See the large number of old people’s homes, the number of older homeless people, and the way gray hair, wrinkles and age indicative effects are rejected wholesale by the vast majority of the people here. I would hate to be aged here. Even some people start the age conversation very early with their teens, with some mouthy young ones threatening to place their parents in homes when they are older when the parents threaten to revoke a privilege that the child has abused.There are no old people in ads except for drug company advertisements, over-65 ads and gardening ads. Its rather sad.

I think of my own grandma, and how she is cared for by her children and grandchildren and I am thrilled for her. I want to celebrate her wisdom, relish her yummy food and hugs and kisses for many more years and I want to have her advice in my life. Even if she were not as close to me as she is right now, I would never put her in a home, nor would I make her pay rent to live in my home, yes, that happens here…Gasp!

So wont you age gracefully today?

Update:

This week, I have been in research mode and I am happy to note that I am 25% ahead in my goal to raise money for breast cancer research here through the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. The last few days have been phenomenal with the fundraising. I am so encouraged. Although there is a long road ahead for many of the people who are here, I am assured that we shall make a dent in the research dollars needed for breast cancer research. Why am I doing this, you may ask, if you are a new reader to the blog, you have to know what my mantra is. I believe that the money we raise will raise the early detection rates, bring us closer to a cure, and celebrate the lives of my friends, co-workers and family who have survived breast cancer, as well as those who are now angels. I am painfully getting fit, refusing to give up and growing along the way.

PS Goes to Summer !

So here I am at the starting point of what promises to be an eventful summer. Two great cities, and a host of people, places and occasions in between. A long time admirer of this nation’s capital, I shall spend the bulk of my time in Washington DC.

Here is my roundup:

Sports madness. Was the whole world watching last week’s soccer matches? It seemed, for the last part of the week, all the conversations I had via email or in person with random strangers had to do with soccer. Football makes the world go round is all I can say.

Alright, granted, my only motivation is to Ronaldinho, whose postage size stamps I still have from my high school bubble gum collection, but the footie frenzy was too deadly. The local pub happens to attract a really high number of English football fans too.

Twitter: Some really interesting folks have joined up, and I am being followed, even though the bulk of my posts are of the “Being a student … ” variety, I am happy. If you are a fan of various bloggers, and other web personalities, look them up and join up yourself.

Matchmaking: This weekend, I meet some good people from KE. Here is where it got interesting. So we were having a great time with my friend’s family, who are from a different community than I am. So this older couple, aunt and uncle to my friend decide to match me up. Small transcript of the conversation:

Couple: (Turn suddenly towards me) Do you have a boyfriend?

PS: (Thinking’ None of your Biz People’) Why do you ask?

Couple: Well, here is our cousin, this face of yours cannot be wasted, give him your number, he is a good man

PS: (WTF, Keeping a calm face) I am trying to finish school. This is not the time to be planning so far into the future.

Couple: This one, (points to the guy) he is young (PS is thinking 35-40yrs and she can barely remember the early nineties) and he will not rush you to have kids, he is patient

PS: No, thanks so much.  (Kids? As in…assuming I am even going to progeny-tize with their brother/son/cousin…when did we get there?)

PS:(Exits conversation mentally here)

(I then weather the icy chills from this couple, and an awkward stare from the prospective, who says not a word to me, just gives me one of those looks you would give a really juicy tender steak, well done. It funny how you can tell the look a mile away)

Word of Advice - If you know a twenty something person, do not try and set them up without delicate consultations akin to those which you would if you thought they were a perfect stranger, who you approach cautiously. By the way this whole exchange happened in the middle of the room within earshot and view of all who attended the event. How discrete, yes? )

Breast Cancer Awareness Walk : Set for October, and will raise $2200 or more for the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. For more details and how you can sponsor my walk, send me an email at sunnykay9 (at) gmail (dot) com

May Highlights!

My corner of the world is 2 hours drive from NYC and 4 hours from Washington DC. The weather is 75F (23.8C) and cloudy. There is a slight breeze and the trees are in bloom, flowers have reappeared. Its delicious weather to be outside and ready for a jog, or a walk, or like my gal and I did yesterday, just sit on a lawn and watch the sun set at 8:00pm. The days are longer!

Quick highlights from my week.

1) May Day - Celebrations of everything Spring oriented.
It was great to finally usher in some normal weather. Normal to me is the onset of 60-80F weather also called Spring. perfect weather for running, walking, being outdoors. We also had a grand party to usher in the Spring last Sunday.

2) Obama took North Carolina - Proud of your Carolina!
I believe that this is a sign to think strongly about what state I would move to if I went South.

3) I am squat in the middle of finals - hence the ’slow coach’ on regular postings.
I will spare you the details of the work, suffice to say that by next Friday, I will be a free woman ( at least from academics)

4)Twitter me! - SunnyKay
I am being followed a bit, am an Afrotwit and also, there are loads of new members doing all manner of things. It may reduce those 6 degrees of separation.

5) Found out that women need calcium before age 29, then after that we do not absorb the same way. Loading up on my calcium. But then again I am only 18*, so got some time left.
*-Approximately 18 till I die.

6) If you are a fan for documentaries a la Jamaica Kincaid’s “Life and Debt”, Michael Moore’s “Sicko” and “Bowling for Columbine” you should check out freedocumentaries.org

7)I am heading further south for the summer. I will be documenting my summer travels better than I did last year, and hoping to refine some things for the future. Details to follow.

Blogs of Note:
Food: Simply Breakfast - The art of doing breakfast
Art: Indexed - Art on Index Cards
Femme: MwariWaDavid - Hopeful, helpful, heartfelt
Tech: AfriGadget Innovation, entrepreneurship and technology in Africa

Simpler Times

So I was looking at this photo from the early 90s of me. I remember finding something absolutely amusing at the time. The story behind this photo was that I had been losing my front teeth, to natural replacement, and that morning, I had my dad pull the front one for me. I was happy now, that I would not face having a tooth pulled. It did not stop me from laughing, and smiling.

I am wrapped in khangas( wrappers) as my cousins and I were about to perform a skit for the family. We started early with the stage presence. Very chic, I thought.